Don’t think

“Don’t think much.” Mom keeps telling me. It’s been more than a decade that I was married off almost in haste. “It’s for your best.” She had convinced my young mind by giving me dreams of a wonderful future. I was happy. I was told I am beautiful and charming. Life would be beautiful.

I entered my new home with hopes and dreams. Soon I realized there was no love or romance. I was a subservient daughter-in-law. I obey and only do what I am told. I am paraded for my beauty among relatives and friends. But I am just a servant at home. “Don’t think much, they are so proud of your beauty.” Mom kept telling me.

I wondered why my beauty failed to impress or attract my husband. He seemed distant and disinterested. Days turned into years. People asked me, “When are you planning a baby?’ I had no answer. I tried to please my husband but I was just a servant. With tears I asked my mom, “Hush!” she said. “You are beautiful. This is life.”

I continued being deprived of love, money and freedom. I packed my bags one day and asked my mom to take me back. She said, “Just have a baby and all will be fine.” I was sent back after convincing that marriages are just compromises and things will eventually fall in place. “But what about happiness, Mom?” my mind kept asking. There was no answer.

Then, when I finally had a baby, I was happy. I had a purpose to live. Now along with being a maid, I was a mother. The child grew older and things were back to routine. My husband is always too tired for me. I am still just a maid for the household. My needs and opinions don’t matter to anyone. I keep searching for happiness even today but Mom still says, “This is life. People don’t always get what they want. All is fine just don’t think much.”

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